I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
