Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
