After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
