so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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