he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
