i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
