im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
