nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
That's intense
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
