Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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