it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
