Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
