He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize