I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize