I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
