she woke up with a sticky ear
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
