Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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