These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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