every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
