remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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