it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
