I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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