I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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