i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
