Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
