It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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