Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
