I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sorry about my life...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
