At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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