We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
