There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
my poor anus
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
