so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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