I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
