1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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