Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's never too late to be topless.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
