you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
