How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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