One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
