HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
