Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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