the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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