Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
