Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
