I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
