super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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