At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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