dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish I could teleport
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Blow job season was short but glorious.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize