Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
These tits shall not be calmed
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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