I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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