I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
