Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
