If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
