I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
