Soap is not a condiment
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
