1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
