Who did Billy Mays play for?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize