kristin has been a bad kristin
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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