there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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