Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
