Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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