At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
