you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
