So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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