I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
