Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize