If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
