I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
