Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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