Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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