Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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