I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
