Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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