This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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