And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
